If we are to cooperate with God's Spirit in being "Spirit-filled" we need to begin with our faith foundation. It is God's work in us both to bring us to declare us righteous before Him in salvation, and it is God's work to progressively enable us to experience His righteousness in our sanctification. To fall back into a "try harder" mode in order to please God and go on in our relationship with Him is to "grieve the Spirit", the opposite of cooperating with Him in His filling work.